My Wife is Leaving Me for a Better Christian

Q: My wife has been a Christian for a long time, but I only got saved a couple of  years ago. I dealt with depression and that led to me not being the best husband I could be. I admit to making a lot of mistakes, and I’m a baby Christian so I’m still growing.

My wife says she has fallen out of love with me and that she thinks I’m not what God wants for her. She has started spending time with a more mature Christian guy and she is falling in love with him. She doesn’t want to be with me because I’m not just a baby Christian and I think she thinks I just  became a Christian for her. She thinks she should be with this other guy because he’s a better Christian.

Is there anything I can do? “ - David E.


A: I’m so sorry, David. I really feel for you and your situation!

#1

The first thing you need to do is make a choice about what your priorities are. God needs to be your first priority and your wife should be your second. You need to seek God first and foremost and do whatever you have to do to get as close to Him as possible. It all starts there.

Fall on your face and become desperate and broken before Him. Give Him complete control over your life. If God is not your #1 priority, everything will fall out of whack!

#2

Insist on praying together and reading the bible every night with your wife. Tell her that it’s important to you. Keep this up every night! I can’t tell you how strong this is and how many marriages have been completely healed from this practice. This is pure intimacy with not only you and your wife, but also with God.

#3

Go to Christian marriage counseling. Don’t just seek a pastor, seek a licensed counselor who is also a devout Christian.

If your wife has given up and refuses to work on your relationship, then she is in the wrong and there isn’t much you can do.

Her excuses are not valid excuses for separating from you.

“if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.” – 1 Cor 7:10-15

Here are some other scriptures about divorce. Focus on the NT verses.

If this man is coming between your marriage, she needs to stay away from him. The devil is using her “religion” to draw her away from God’s will. Because it is their Christianity that draws them together and away from you, she feels that it is okay. But, Jesus made it very clear that this is wrong!

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- Jim Graham
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