Q: “I really need help! I have been close to this girl for 5 years and I think I am in love with her. But recently she’s been calling me brother and she actually forgot my birthday this year. She’s never forgotten my birthday before. What’s going on?” - Jeremy K.
Women have an amazing super power to tell how men feel about them almost before they actually feel it. It’s quite remarkable. God gave them what many refer to as a “woman’s intuition” and it later translates to an even more incredible “mother’s intuition” where they know when something is wrong with their child.
Her calling you brother was most likely for your benefit to hint to you that she looks at you like a brother. And when that didn’t work she realized she has to distance herself from you and give you pretty big signals, like missing your birthday. I imagine she didn’t really forget, she’s just trying to create separation.
What often happens in these situations is that she suddenly realizes that she has gotten WAY too close to you and that it isn’t fair to you, nor is it healthy. She also has plenty of girlfriends advising her of what to do, and I guarantee you almost all of them are telling her to distance herself from you. By remaining so close to you she is hurting you, and she doesn’t want to hurt you any more than she already has.
I don’t know your age, but it’s also possible that you two just reached a time in your lives where you are changing a lot. People tend to grow in spurts and go through stages of major change. For example, college freshmen typically go through a major change right before their sophomore year, then another huge change right after graduation. Maybe, she’s just going through a big change in her life and realizing that she connects with you less than she did and seeks to be with others who she connects to on a different level.
But, most likely, you’ve found yourself drowning in the friend zone. If that’s the case then I strongly advise taking a look at this article I wrote about getting out of the friend zone!
Don’t lose hope. There’s a lot of growth ahead of you, if you’ll be open to advice. Take my advice and you’ll life will change in ways you won’t believe!